Metal-is:
You know, Hybrid Theory is a perfectly good name for a band. Why did you change it to Linkin Park?

Mike (M): It was a legal thing, but in retrospect, I think we're glad we did. (rapidly) For one reason, because Hybrid Theory is a very descriptive name and it almost says, "This is what the band's about", whereas Linkin Park does not, and Linkin Park is the kind of name that does not define the band - other than the name defining the band

Chester (C): That's a really well thought out answer. Possibly because he's answered that question 500 times in the past week?

M:
I don't know what you're talking about. It's not like the pace of my words picked up threefold! I just thought I'd spit that one out real fast!

C:
Dude

M:
You need to get a little clamp for that bracelet, so you don't have to pick it up every time you want to reach down! (Chester starts hitting him.) I'm not banging on you, bro, I just used to have the same problem!

C:
It's art, dude, OK?! I'm not into image, it's fucking art!

M:
Art? Whatever!

Metal-is:
With all the metal that you wear about your person, do you have problems when you go through airports?

M:
You have no idea! Brad's pants are down around his ankles, 'cause his pants are too big and his belt's all made of metal, Chester has to take off 50 things it's a joke! And the best thing is, he's obsessive compulsive. Tell her about how you arrange your bracelets when you take them off!

C:
No.

M:
I'll tell her about it! Chester takes off his bracelets when he's going through the metal detector at the airport and he has this bag with those of those handles that pulls up, so there's a long hanger and he arranges them on that. He takes them off in the same order every time and puts them in the same places and arranges them perfectly.

C:
I'm disgusting, because I do that with my baggage too. All my bags specifically fit in a certain way really well I can't have disorganised bags! And when I go grocery shopping, I'm the same way; boxed items like detergents have to be separated from the food, and then all cans go together, all meats go together, and therefore it's easier to unload when you get home.

Metal-is:
But surely it's only common sense to separate your detergents from your fresh food, so they don't get tainted with a soapy taste?

C:
Yes, but you see people tossing whatever they grab first into the bag. Not with me. It has to be done a specific way every time.

M:
This is like the most involved answer about produce that I have ever heard in my life!

Metal-is:
Does that mean that your house is also obsessively tidy?

C:
Well, it is, but I don't know, because I've only been there three or four times. I moved into my apartment when I was on tour.

M:
You know what was really a benchmark in my mind on how long we've been on tour? When I got back home, streets were rearranged around my apartment, because they'd done construction work and the actual neighbourhood was different. I could turn right on a street that I could never turn right on before! It was the strangest thing!

Rob (R):
I live on a bus!

M:
Yeah, I live on a bus, that's my home.

C:
Not only that, but I can't sleep anywhere, but the fuckin' bus! I need to buy a bus and park it in front of my house, so that when I go home, at night when I go to bed, I just go to the bed. Or I need to install a half of a bus in my room, with bunks, so I can sleep in it. Not only is touring overglamorised, but the smell is completely under-rated. We got in a tour bus after a certain band had used it and we actually had to take the top of the bus off with a metal-melting machine and air it out, because it smelt like rotting flesh, BO and fromage! I'm not going to name the band

M:
(HED)P.E.!

C:
No, it was not them, but we actually buy air purifiers and put them on every part of the bus.

M:
You wouldn't believe how dangerous it is to drive around with scented candles lit in the bus, but it's necessary.

C:
We actually got smart and bought sticky velcro and put on either side of the candles, so they wouldn't roll around.

Metal-is:
You just mentioned (hed) Planet Earth and you toured the States with them and Papa Roach recently. Was that all young-lads-out-on-the-road type fun?

R:
Yeah, that was a great tour. We actually became really good friends with all those guys.

M:
Except for that damn Coby! He's real mean to us! He has nothing nice to say, and he always makes fun of me and Chester! And BC from (hed) Planet Earth calls us a naughty word! BC kept calling me and Chester 'vaginas'!

C:
You know what else I noticed about BC? I kept seeing him kissing other men! (All laugh uproariously.) He even kissed me on the mouth once; I was like, "Dude, back off!" No, we love all those guys, they're so cool.

Metal-is:
I suppose, with the album taking off so big, at the moment there's no end in sight to the touring you going to be doing in the next year or two

C:
Our record's only been out for two months and we're at stages where some of these bands that we've been playing with, that have been doing this for years, are just now reaching, so we have a feeling that this record is probably going to go on for a while. We are looking forward to playing with bigger bands, more bands that we appreciate, and hopefully, the fact that we are achieving these goals so quickly means that we will be able to play with those artists that we enjoy faster, and it may be more interesting than just and blah, blah, blah!

M:
I think Chester just fell asleep! Yeah, I know what he's saying, I'll summarise! One of the opportunities that comes with having a successful album is being able to meet the bands that you've admired for a while, and that's happened to us. Chester met Scott Weiland for a second and couldn't even say a word to the guy, 'cause he was so star-struck!

C:
I meet a lot of people, dude, and I've never been star-struck, but I met Scott and I was like, "Hi Scott - my name is durrrh" He was like, "Are you alright, dude?" and I was like, "Yeah - I mean, my name's Chester and I think you're great, I just wanted to tell you" I felt like a total schmuck! He was like, "Well, are you in a band or what?" and I was like, "Yeah, I'm in a band called Linkin Park" and he was like, "You just played today, right?" and I went, "Yeah" and he went, "I've heard real cool things about you - good luck!" and I was like, "Nargggh" And I mean, when I met him, I was in the middle of talking to the bass player from Green Day and these bands are like of the same calibre, but talking to the bass player from Green Day, I was totally comfortable - "Yeah, dude, what's up, man? It's cool to meet you!" - and here comes Scott and I'm like, "Urrrgh!" I don't know why - maybe I'm gay!

M:
You probably are! You've always got that couple of people that you grew up admiring, and you've spent too much time thinking about how awesome they are to be able to have a decent conversation with them.

C:
But there's an exact opposite to this story that happened recently, when I met Tommy Lee. He came up to us after we played a pretty big show in California and he was like, "Hey, dude, it's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Tommy, and you guys have a great record!" and I'm like, "Whoa! Come on, dude, you're not interested in me! I should be kissing your ass, you're like a legend!" And we ended up hanging out and had a couple of drinks together and exchanged phone numbers

R:
They went on a couple of dates

C:
and I think we're getting married! No, he was a very cool guy and seriously, I think we hit it off pretty well, and that was very cool. It's the same kind of level, I admire Tommy Lee just as much, probably, as I do Scott, but for some reason, maybe it was the fact that he approached me, talking to him was a little easier to cope with.

Metal-is:
Do you ever ask any of these people that you meet for advice on how to cope with success or has anyone ever offered it to you unsolicited?

C:
No, we don't talk about music when we're together. We talk about other things, stupid stuff, normal conversation

M:
You know what's important? Talking about normal things when you're on tour, because if you don't stay grounded and don't have some kind of normal life outside of music, then you forget what that's like. I think maybe that's a lesson that hasn't been said, it's something you just kind of learn. All day, all you do is interview and talk about music and then you do a show and then afterwards you talk about music, so when you go and hang out, like when we would hang out with Jared and the guys from (hed), me and Product talk about skating

C:
and tofu versus meat Even when we get home, all our friends are asking the same questions that all the reporters and people from other areas are asking, so you can't even have a normal conversation with your friends any more. So when you get to meet other artists, it's like your opportunity for reality, and you jump at the opportunity to talk about the fuckin' difference between a Twinkie and a Ding-Dong, and which one makes it better!

R:
We're all in the same kind of boat and it becomes like a big family on the road. We have dinner together, we hang out together, our buses are altogether, and it becomes like home.

Metal-is:
I noticed last night after your show, you spent a lot of time signing autographs

C:
We do that every show. I think that is another big, big way to stay grounded and not let it go to your head, because the second you start thinking, 'I don't want to be bothered by those people', it's one of those situations where you start elevating yourself in your mind to being more superior to that other person. We don't ever want to get that way, so we hang out with all of our fans and try to talk to as many of them as we can, whether they're intelligent and intriguing or annoying and stupid, they're all the best, you know what I mean? That's what keeps us going.

M:
(meaningfully) Luckily for us, we don't have any annoying and stupid fans, hey, Chester, wouldn't you say?

C:
I just wanted to show the range of people that are out there. I didn't want to just brag that our fans are all incredibly intelligent and intriguing people!

M:
As for me, I like to go on the message boards and the chat rooms of different websites and fan sites and stuff. I'd say that those kids know a lot more about us than we think they do. They constantly ask these really interesting in-depth questions and they are super-defensive about the band. I've gone in there and thanked people for stuff that they've said about us.

Metal-is:
Finally, do you have any message for anyone who's managed to make it to the end of this extremely long interview?

M:
You are an amazing person for having the patience to read such a long, involved and insane interview about produce and all the silly things that we've talked about. I hope that you've had a great time and I hope that you will come to see the show.

R:
And if you come to the show, make sure you come and talk to us afterwards.